CREATE
in me a clean heart, Oh God. And RENEW a steadfast spirit within me.”
~Psalm
51:10
Renew: Resume (an activity) after an
interruption, Re-establish
relationship, Give fresh life or strength to; Revive
Last week, we unpacked the beginning of this verse together
– the beautiful gift God offers to create a NEW heart each and every day. As I
ended last week’s post, I shared a glimpse into this week. The second part of
this verse; the RENEWAL.
As I shared last week, the second part of the verse holds so
much relevance to me, I wanted to dedicate an entire Blog post to it. As I
researched and read the definition of the word Renew, it took my breath away.
Scripture has a way of doing that. Sometimes, a struggle is so fresh that when
a verse relates this closely, it brings to surface many emotions. If the
circumstance is a hard one, it stings a little. If we are moving into more of a
healing season, the verse acts as a salve to our wounded hearts, bringing fresh
hope. This is where I find myself on this one.
Interruptions…as a trendy quote from a few years ago so
clearly says, “Ain’t nobody got time for this!” I don’t know about you, but I
do not particularly enjoy interruption. I prefer my nicely planned out schedule
(predictable and comfortable) to work out exactly as I have it detailed in my
cute planner; complete with fun stickers and quotes. I was once voted the most
likely to be robbed at a bank I worked for, because of my predictability and
routine nature! How ironic that God would choose to partner me with a minister
for my soul mate, and a spontaneous soul. Just when I am settling into a little
normal, up we go- following God into
a new calling, a new place and new home. It has been a part of our story for
the past 27 years of marriage, and a part of my life story as a preacher’s kid.
I remember making a very bold statement to my Dad as a young pre-teen. “One
thing I know for sure, when I grow up I will NEVER marry a preacher. I am going
to live a normal life.” And God smiled really big at the sound of those words.
Why on earth would God place me smack into a life of change
and unpredictability, when all my heart really wants is the normal, routine
and expected? Why does God invite each of us to embrace interruption and trust
His plan, even when it is more than we can possibly fathom? For me, it is
because God is ever teaching me the gift and lesson of His all-sufficient
Grace. (2 Corinthians 12:9). My life verse. In my weakest moments, God’s grace
is the all sufficient source of strength I find I cannot possibly live without.
Our most recent life interruption came in the form of health
and sickness. The call to leave our 5 ½ year church plant and life I honestly thought
would be forever left me a little puzzled. After our move back home to
Arkansas, I found myself confused and to be truthful, lost. Navigating the loss
of a Church we watched literally sprout from a seed, struggling with the ache
of hard goodbyes, carrying the difficulty of helping our four children (all at
very different seasons in life) adjust to a move over state lines, one of which
was a high school senior. The struggle to make sense of the sudden life change
all the while knowing in my heart we made the right decision to help bring
health and life back to my Mom, who had suffered a completely unexpected stroke. She too was struggling to find answers to her own questions of why.
This interruption was not an easy one, for any of us. When
we were first faced with the decision to move back home, I was right in the
middle of a Bible Study written by Teresa Swanstrom, “Beautifully Interrupted:
When God Holds the Pen that Writes Your Story”.
Isn’t God’s timing stunning? I randomly discovered this
study, having no earthly idea why it appealed to me so much. Coincidence? I do
not think so.
I knew in my heart, this unexpected change was my own
interruption, although in the nitty gritty of the details, it did not
necessarily feel beautiful. As a
daughter of the King, I had to remind myself, Trust what you KNOW, not what you FEEL. On the hardest days. Days
with the most questions. Days with the most tears and anger over the loss of
relationships and even my worst fear of all, letting people down. On those
days, God held my head to His chest and reminded me; our stories do not end with
an interruption. The interruption is the doorway to the next step in the
journey God has for us.
It has now been 1 year and 2 months since our move. In that
year, I have spent much time in prayer, in the quiet, in worship. Just being
with Jesus. Remember our definition of renew? I could not find a better definition for my story this past year. I have spent
much time re-establishing my purest
relationship with Jesus, after 5 years of Church planting and ministry. I have
experienced Revival – fresh life and
strength in my soul. Now, my resume
of activity looks much different, carefully thought out and prayed over. I am
trusting God with the new activity He brings into my life. Lately, I have spent
a great deal of time pouring into my children’s spiritual walk and sweet
friends God has brought into my life, one by one. I have also nearly completed my certification as a Christian Life Coach and I am working on my Mental Health Coach Certification. I want to be intentional and
recognize the new opportunity God places in front of me. Above all, I have
hope. I am learning, after the interruption comes the new life, the new blessing
and the new opportunity. I am reminded, the rest of our stories follow the interruption.
Maybe your interruption looks completely different than
mine. Our stories need not look the same to connect or understand one another.
Your interruption may be job related, family related or health related. It could
include a relationship ending, or beginning. I do not believe God led you to
read this today on accident. Maybe, for the very life of you, you need a
reminder at this moment that God alone WILL renew a steadfast spirit within you
again. You need to know, there is
hope to resume again after an interruption. Your resume might look completely
different than your life before the interruption. And, sweet friend, that is
ok. Just dare to raise your head. Stand up. Take hold of Jesus hand today and
lean on His all sufficient Grace to give you the strength to step into the rest
of your story. ♥
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